Oliver Stone and Danny Glover, Call Your Offices

Try wrapping your mind around these concepts:

1. According to the Castro regime in Cuba, the United States government, using recently developed technology caused the recent disastrous 7.0 magnitude earthquake in the southwest corner of the island of Hispaniola. Several days prior to that event a test of the technology was conducted 10 miles offshore of the extreme northern California town of Ferndale near Eureka. The latter temblor registered a 6.5 on the Richter scale. The Cubans warn that the new weapon is next to be used against the Islamic Republic of Iran.

2. Venezuela's "elected" caudillo, señor Chávez explains (with a straight face) that the US military has invaded Haiti:

  "I read that 3,000 soldiers are arriving, Marines armed as if they were going to war. There is not a shortage of guns there, my God. Doctors, medicine, fuel, field hospitals, that's what the United States should send," Chavez said on his weekly television show. "They are occupying Haiti undercover."

He would doubtless prefer that volunteers attempting to deliver humanitarian aid should deal with events such as this and this and be unencumbered by adequate means to accomplish their objective or even to defend themselves.

Meanwhile, the rolling blackouts in Venezuela (except in certain districts of the capital) are blamed on the el niño induced drought rather than the socialist power suppliers' neglected maintenance of the hydroelectric infrastructure as seen in this slide show. Strangely enough, the "drought" has not effected the power generation in neighboring Colombia. This odd situation is doubtless also to be the fault of the "imperialist yanquis" who have developed a "drought machine" to augment the new "earthquake machine".

It appears that the teleprompter jesus will be required to make a new and improved apology tour of our southern neighbors as soon as all the newly imported Democratic voters from Haiti are added to the rolls here in the US.