Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

A Good Laugh


Anecdotes illustrating and mocking the illogic and amusing aspects of collectivist i.e "progressive" societies actions are legion and sometimes amusing in a tragicomic sense. Long time readers of this blog may recall the true incident which occurred during your humble scribblers visit to the workers paradise of the Caribbean (Cuba) aboard his sailboat home of 23 years.

A shop at the marina near Havana selling items such as imported beer and canned goods to foreigners for hard currency had some lettuce which they refused to sell us saying that the scale to weigh it was broken. I estimated that the weight was 1 kilo and offered to buy it for the price of 2 kilos and this was refused. We returned on each of the next 2 days to buy the lettuce which was beginning to wilt. On the 3rd day with the scale still not repaired I asked to negotiate with the manager. Two phone calls were made to Havana and the merchant finally got permission to sell the head of lettuce for the 2 kilo price.

The humor engendered by the illogic and frustrating aspects of collectivist societies is also revealed in a recent book entitled: Hammer & Tickle: A History of Communism Told Through Communist Jokes by Ben Lewis reviewed recently in the British newspaper The Telegraph

No better example of the experiment in "progressive" government exists than in the late great USSR:
A story goes of a man who proceeds to buy a car in Moscow, pays for it, and is told by the salesman that he can collect it on a particular date in 10 years' time. The buyer thinks for a moment and then asks: 'Morning or afternoon?' The salesman, astonished by the question, asks: 'What difference does it make?' And the buyer answers: 'Well, the plumber is coming in the morning.'

Also there is the story of the sheep who try to leave an [East bloc] country, explaining to the border guards that they want to get out because the political police have received orders to arrest all elephants. 'But you're not elephants.'
The lead sheep replies:'Try telling that to the political police."

Another widely circulated anecdote concerns the question: Is it true that half the Central Committee [congress?] are idiots?' To which the progressive commissar replies: 'No, that's rubbish. Half the Central Committee [congress] are not idiots'.

A joke reminiscent of Kruschev's assurance that collectivism would "bury" the West avers: "Capitalism stands on the brink of the abyss. It will soon be overtaken by communism".

The following statement from Mr. Lewis' work congers up the current "Inconvenient Truth" of the warmista scam occupying center stage these days: "Is it true that Marxism-Leninism [human caused global warming] is scientific?' 'No, surely not. If it were, it would have been tested on animals first.'

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Pest Control

For those who enjoy dry Aussie humor this video was located on Crusader Rabbit and is herewith presented as several explanations for the disappearance of Baz the cane toad whose species are threatening to over- run Queensland. Enjoy.

Friday, June 08, 2007

Enviro Alert!!!

Finally the environmentalists have discovered an issue that we can hang our hat on. The threat presented by the failure to regulate the dangerous chemical DHMO is finally being addressed in some areas of the U.S. It is surprising that the state of Georgia, a traditional "red [neck] state" is leading the way in this crusade. The dangers of DHMO are myriad and frightening. To name a few:
* Death due to accidental inhalation of DHMO, even in small quantities.
* Prolonged exposure to solid DHMO causes severe tissue damage.
* Excessive ingestion produces a number of unpleasant though not typically life-threatening side-effects.
* DHMO is a major component of acid rain.
* Gaseous DHMO can cause severe burns.
* Contributes to soil erosion.
* Leads to corrosion and oxidation of many metals.
* Contamination of electrical systems often causes short-circuits.
* Exposure decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes.
* Found in biopsies of pre-cancerous tumors and lesions.
* Given to vicious dogs involved in recent deadly attacks.
* Often associated with killer cyclones in the U.S. Midwest and elsewhere, and in hurricanes including deadly storms in Florida, New Orleans and other areas of the southeastern U.S.
* Thermal variations in DHMO are a suspected contributor to the El Nino weather effect.

What are the symptoms of accidental Dihydrogen Monoxide overdose?
You may not always recognize that you have been a victim of accidental DHMO overdose, so here are some signs and symptoms to look for. If you suspect Dihydrogen Monoxide overdose, or if you exhibit any of these symptoms, you should consult with your physician or medical practitioner. The data presented here is provided for informational purposes only, and should in no way be construed as medical advice of any sort.

Watch for these symptoms:

* Excessive sweating
* Excessive urination
* Bloated feeling
* Nausea
* Vomiting
* Electrolyte imbalance
* Hyponatremia (serum hypotonicity)
* Dangerously imbalanced levels of ECF and ICF in the blood
* Degeneration of sodium homeostasis

It is believed that the awareness of the dangers of DHMO have been surpressed by large corporate interests vested in its continued non regulation. One of these interests, Big Oil, doubtless wishes to have the issue ignored as the gaseous form of DHMO which is a byproduct of their ongoing operations is an even greater greenhouse gas than carbon dioxide.
To learn more about the issues concerning DHMO and how you too can contribute to the resolution of this dangerous issue visit this website. Meanwhile advise your congressional representatives as well as your state legislators of your concern on this important issue